jump out, jump out, get your groove on [i lit a joint and burned my eyebrow] <$BlogRSDURL$>

Monday, January 31, 2005

you'll never be a better kind if you don't leave the world behind 

My favourite pants are a $20 pair of jeans. Go figure. I am never going to dye my hair any other colour again besides jet black. It doesn't get as much attention from the boys, but goddamn it looks great.

Once again, I find myself at the beginning of the week and I have nothing creative to post. So maybe I'll just do up a list of sorts. Yeah, that works.

Song that sends chills down my spine everytime I hear it:

'Only In Dreams' by Weezer. I don't know what it is- maybe it's the ultra simplistic chord progressions, maybe it's just the lyrics- whatever it is, I love this song almost too much. There's just something supremely profound to me about the line 'she is your marrow and your ride home'. It's so creepy and beautiful.

Favourite song(s) to sing at karaoke (not that I've done it in awhile):

1) New Kid In Town by The Eagles

The first song I ever sang at a karaoke night. It has an appropriate country-ish twang to it, plus it is one of my most favourite songs ever... and it is in my vocal range (even though sometimes I sing like a turkey).

2) Say It Ain't So by Weezer

I can never get the high parts quite right, but this one is just pure fun to sing, and it is a big crowd pleaser around these parts.

Best pirate song

Has to be 'Whiskey In The Jar'. It doesn't really matter which version, because pirate tunes are always way fun, but I'm rather partial to the one by Metallica. It was the best song they did right before they completely sold out. Or maybe it was after. Whatever. I like to listen to this one loud while wearing an eye-patch for effect. Also check out the Thin Lizzy version. Gotta have some Phil Lynott in there.

Best song for singing drunk with a friend while pretending flowers pilfered from a park are microphones:

Yellow by Coldplay. Okay, okay, so you're all like, 'Are you serious? A song by the band in which Gwyneth's hubby is the singer?' But really, it's good times. Trust me, I know what I'm talking about.

Song that you wouldn't be embarassed to name your kid after:

Velouria by The Pixies. C'mon, but isn't 'Velouria' the prettiest name ever? It wouldn't be like naming a child after a hair metal song.

Best use of a song to the effect of making me cry every single time in a movie:

At the end of the movie 'The Killing Fields' (starring a young Sam Waterson, now of Law and Order fame) when Sidney Schanberg is reunited with Dith Pran (unless you've seen it, these names probably mean nothing to you), Imagine by John Lennon is playing in the background. And I start crying my eyes out.

Stupidest song that I have to admit to liking because it is so damned catchy:

Lovefool by The Cardigans. The lyrics are super dumb, but this song has a nice beat and a cute melody going for it. I totally bob my head whenever it comes on the radio.

Fave song about impending doom (or so the title implies):

It's The End Of The World As We Know It (And I Feel Fine) by R.E.M. Don't lie- you like it too. Even if you can't sing along because you don't know all the words (I do... but I'm a geek), there is so something to be said about a tune that informs you that Lenny Bruce is not afraid.

Best use of the word 'acid' in a song:

Sorry by Nerf Herder (points if you know what movie their name came from, and the show that I like for which they provided theme music). 'Sorry I crashed through your window on acid; sorry I made a mess, sorry I bled to death.' It totally made me want to crash through someone's window on acid.

Official party song of the college years:

Titty Twister by Diesel Boy. 'My pants are falling down, the room is spinning around, my stomach is making funny sounds, I'm falling down; I'm falling down.' If you don't know this university bar anthem, you are truly missing out.

Song that makes me want to head out to the desert:

The End by The Doors. I doubt you need much of an explanation.

Album that I bought because everyone said it was good but I still don't like it:

Elephant by The White Stripes. Sorry, but I just can't get in to this one. Nothing about it catches my ear at all.

Catchiest song that you've never heard of (unless you have):

No Sissies by Hawksley Workman. Because no sissies get MY love. Oh yeah.

Song about unfulfilled potential that I most relate to:

Monday by Wilco. Ch-ch-Charlie had a pretty good band, but it's his rivals The World Record Players who scored a tour of Japan, so he's left home to fix his vehicle. Which is a van. I can feel his pain. Except that I don't drive a van. Monday, I'm all high indeed.

Funniest mainstream tune that I like:

Holiday Inn by Chingy. Dude, seriously. Funny and catchy shit. Whatchu doin'? Nothin', chillin' at the Holiday IIIIIIIIIInnn...

Biggest lifelong musical obsession:

Motown. How can you not dig it?

Best song that you probably thought was by Rod Stewart but it's not:

Downtown Train by Tom Waits. This has always been one of my favourites, and it comes from an equally great album called Rain Dogs. If you're not currently listening to Tom Waits or have just never bothered, well bother. He's brilliant.

Welcome to the jungle... guilty pleasure G n'R song that makes me drive faster:

You Could Be Mine. I've had a lot of near misses while this song has been spinning in my car.

Most hilarious musical memory from high school:

Driving around in my friend's station wagon listening to Cadillac Ranch by The Nitty Gritty Dirt Band. I'm fucking serious.

Best use of music in a movie recently:

Napoleon Dynamite. You just knew I was going to say that. Honest, though, everything about that soundtrack was right.

Craziest musical purchase made in the last two months:

I actually bought every single album put out by The Smiths on CD. Even the live ones.

One album that has never, ever left my current rotation:

I'm sure everyone must know this by now, but The Blue Album by Weezer. I first had it on tape, and then I finally replaced it with a CD because my car has no tape deck. I never stop relating to the songs, and I don't think I'll ever get tired of singing the words. It's the one CD that no one ever argues about when I put it on, and there's something that makes you feel good about singing Surf Wax America in the bar with a total stranger. I have nothing but good memories attached to this record, so it gets to stay in my current rotation forever and ever.

* * * * * *

Because this relates to the above post...

Here is the lineup for Coachella 2005. I don't know if I can afford to go yet. Maybe if I just went on the Saturday? I mean, come on, Weezer AND Wilco?? Plus it'll be the perfect opportunity for me to sing 'Yellow' into a flower microphone...

Friday, January 28, 2005

now i stand with skin and bones, without a dime to call my home 

I see a Darwin Award in this dude's future. Oh wait... to have a future I suppose you need to still be alive. Poorly worded- my bad.

Heads up: a week from today I will be having a Happy One Year, ILJ party... well, here at ILJ. Bring booze and lots of food and foul language.

So, yeah, the bar is open now- come have a drink.


Okay, so I DID find something to post. Here is a survey made by the lovely Rococo over at MSAFP. I'm filling it out because it makes me laugh at how uncool I actually am/was/whatever. I suck.

I WISH I WAS AS COOL NOW AS I THOUGHT I WAS AT 16 SURVEY.

What was/were your favourite outfit/articles of clothing at 16?

Okay, in case you haven't already guessed it? I was a grunge/hippie/self-styled GOD. But seriously, I actually thought my brand of 'dressing homeless even though everyone fucking knows I live at home with mom and dad' was cutting edge; hip, even. I look at old pics (the few that exist, due to my irrational fear of being photographed often)? And Pepsi and half-chewed food sprays out my nose while I laugh. I cannot even try to pretend these days that ugly was dope.

How big was your hair? If you did not have the privilege to grow up in the 80's, please tell us about your even more fabulous 90's hair.

Oh I had super huge hair for a long time in junior high, but it kind of died down by high school. In grade 11 I had purply-black-brown self-made dreads for the first little while, then my mom totally made me cut them off.

What were the most influential songs/artists/bands in your teenaged years?

Dude, I listened to so much stuff back then. But let me tell you about the funniest thing. In grade 9 I had this white jean jacket (I shit you not) with a Guns n' Roses patch on the back. I thought it was so goddamned hot. I was a total hair metal chick then.

What posters graced the walls in your bedroom?

Honestly? I had a giant poster of a gopher and a Paul Klee print. I was way rad.

What did your mother wear?

My mom was always cool, so I'd say whatever she wears now is just a more updated version of what she dressed like then.

What movie(s) do you still quote while attempting to be funny?

Attempting? Whatever... I go for Army of Darkness.

What drug(s) do you miss the most? If you still do drugs, you're a champ! What drug do you most regret taking? DETAILS PLEASE.......

Obviously I don't miss the dope because I'm smoking it as I type this (I wish). I don't miss crank very much. A lot of people don't know this, but I did shoot heroin once. Never again, though. I can't miss acid because I still have a couple of tabs hiding out at home for a rainy day. What the hell is the point I'm trying so hard to make here? Oh yeah... I miss doing mushrooms with the right people. You do them with the wrong people and it's ALL BAD.

Tell us about the first time you got drunk.

When I was 14, I stole vodka out of my friend's parents' liquor cabinet, and we drank half the bottle and were super ripped. Then we wanted to go outside and take a walk, so we took the vodka with. As soon as we got to the sidewalk, I dropped the bottle and it smashed everywhere... and the neighbours saw and ratted us out later on.

What t-shirt do you miss the most?

I had this black Rush (yes, RUSH) t-shirt with the 'Signals' album cover on the front. For real.

Where did you hang out when you were getting intoxicated?

Bowness park and the surrounding neighborhood.

Who did you have a mad crush on in high school?

Damian A. Fuck, was he hot at that time.

Who did you date and regretted it?

I only dated cool boys. No really, I don't have regrets about anything or anyone.

Did you ever receive a candygram?

My friends sent 'em to me all the time. Oh, and once from some 'anonymous' boy, but everyone knew who it was, and he got razzed about it.

Did you ever get suspended from high school? DETAILS PLEASE....

From high school? Please... I was so ahead of the game. I told a loser teacher to go fuck himself when I was in grade 8 and got my ass suspended for a week. After that, I was the coolest kid like... ever.

Who was the class geek? You?

You SO wish it was me, but sadly, no. It was Billiam Ziegler. He dressed like Indiana Jones, and had the personality of an apricot.

Who was the shit in your high school?

Do you even HAVE to ask?

What group were you in? Potheads?

I didn't believe in groups, so I pretty much just hung out with whoever was up for skipping class that day.

What teacher hated you the most?

The english teacher who looked like a gigantor ugly fish.

What was THE stupidest thing you did in high school? Ride on the hood of a car thinking you looked cool in front of the smoking pit?

Going to high school was pretty stupid in and of itself, no?

What was the most embarrassing moment? Honk at the dance? Boner at the locker while making out?

Bailing on the ice in front of the smoking doors and ripping my pants. I blame the smoking.

What was/were the coolest moment(s) of your high school career?

Graduating and getting the HELL outta dodge.

What do you wish you did then that you never had the chance to do?

I wish I hadn't chucked my buddy Candice's number at the end of grade 11 because we had a dumb fight, because she ended up moving away and I never saw her again. She was super cool.

What do you wish you knew then that you know now?

Don't ever give a shit waht other people think, because they'll all end up fat and ugly with ass-faced husbands, and homely half-retarded children anyway.

Wednesday, January 26, 2005

you laughed, enchanted by my intellect (or maybe you didn't) 

Whenever I say that I'm 'laughing with you, not at you', it's probably a good thing to know that I'm fucking lying. Unless I actually am laughing with you... which really doesn't happen all that often. Because you're not very funny, no matter what your mom tells you. Don't you know moms have to say that kind of crap to their kids? If you didn't... I'm telling you now. Oh, and by the way, you're not good looking either.

Tuesday, January 25, 2005

and it makes me feel so fine i can't control my brain 

I've been told that I dispose of people too easily in life. Sometimes I agree- I'm very quick to make friends, and I am just as quick to end friendships when it's not working for me. These days I'm finding that it doesn't take much. Voice narrow-minded views one too many times in my presence? You're gone. Act without consideration towards me and assume that loyalty will allow me to forget about it? You can go fuck yourself. I tend to keep my important relationships few and far between. The people I spend time with on a regular basis, and not simply out of obligation? You'd better believe I can count them on two hands. I also have my 'party' friends- the ones I'll call up when a night at home watching DVD's won't do. We're not extremely close, but they're always worth giving a shout to when I'm in their part of town. Then there are the ones who I will cut loose in the next little while. I still refer to them as 'friends' for lack of a better word... but I really have no problem severing ties. This is why it really bothers me when I see people around me hang on to relationships that really aren't there anymore. When they say 'my friend so-and-so', but you know that when that 'friend' was in town, they never even stopped by to hang out. It's the ghost of a relationship, and as much as you'd like to still consider that person a part of your life, you can't. It's a done deal. So, ask me if I think that maybe I drop people from my life too easily, and I'll tell you that if I do, it's definitely with good reason. I've just become more careful of who I keep around, and I never hold on to things that are over just because I have delusions. Sure, there are times when I'll be reminded of someone from my past, and I'll suddenly get all nostalgically maudlin and be like, Wouldn't it be cool if I could build a time machine, or at least buy one so that I could re-live that friendship? Because '96 was such a good year and all... But I snap out of it eventually; I know that there are some relationships you are only meant to have for the time that they last- never beyond that. There's no point in pretending that you are still friends with a person when it's painfully obvious that things between the two of you have completely deteriorated. You may as well move on when the pieces are too tiny to ever put together again. It's lonely living with ghosts, and when silence isn't golden, it can be loud enough to burst your eardrums.

Monday, January 24, 2005

when it finally happens you will stand and cheer 

I honestly don't have anything too useful to say today, folks, but in case you didn't already know it...

THE PHILADELPHIA EAGLES ARE GOING TO THE SUPERBOWL.


I have added a celebratory shot of whiskey to my coffee this morning. Oh... and to anyone who doubted they'd get to Superbowl this year? You're so not welcome at my blog today. That is all.




Friday, January 21, 2005

fly eagles fly 

When I copout, I copout good. And so, I copout with a tribute to my Philadelphia Eagles. Have a great weekend, and GOOOOOOOOOOOOOO EAGLES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


Thursday, January 20, 2005

they stay at the carnival, but they'll never win you back 

Right now I feel like my fucking head is stuffed full of styrofoam and is in a vice, and someone is stomping on the vice. I can't hear a goddamned thing, and it is pissing me off because it means that people can sneak up on me. I don't like people sneaking up on me. Then again, what the hell am I doing at work if I feel this much like crap anyway? I have 26 paid sick days banked, just waiting to be used. Sonofabitch, sometimes I can be a grade-A moron. If I get sick one more time after this, I'm going 'Taxi Driver' on all your asses.

Wednesday, January 19, 2005

i guess i shoulda known by the way u parked your car sideways 

The stupidest thing (hands down- I swear) that I ever attempted to do? Build an 'octagon' a la UFC. I am not even kidding. Me and a friend bought a whole bunch of lumber for it, then right on the eve of us building the thing in his back yard, I had a huge flash of what the fuck were we thinking?, and we ended up bailing out and building a deck instead. Now, years later, I think back and realize that maybe it would have been sort of fun to have an octagon. But it's not like I'm going to build one based on a fit of nostalgia. And now I feel like an ass that I admitted on the goddamned internet that I was going to build an octagon.

Tuesday, January 18, 2005

she took the midnight train going anywhere 

I was going to post today, but I took a bunch of cold medication this morning and my brain is really fuzzy. I am not hungry either, which is a huge change for me. So you get nothing.

Monday, January 17, 2005

is everything a landscape? i am the landscape 

One of the most annoying things in the world is when you can hear a phone ringing continually (and you're not sure where the sound is coming from), and no one picks it up. Ever. At least unplug the fucker if you're not going to answer it. Goddammit.

Why is it that in winter everybody parks their car like shit in the parking lot? I mean, sure you can't see the lines very well or anything, but how fucking difficult is it to park parallel to the car next to you? Or to park your car straight, period (based on the fact that the spaces are ALWAYS arranged in rows, and not randomly, throughout the lot)? Obviously it's brain-wrenchingly difficult, since I had to park at the stupid far end of the parking lot due to the inability of others to park within the marked spaces. Sometimes I really detest the human race.

Friday, January 14, 2005

she was a fast machine, she kept her motor clean 

Right now? I think I'd rather die a painful and horrible death rather than have to endure another winter in this city. It's borderline retarded just how cold it is- this morning I drove to work without fully scraping off my windows because it was just taking too goddamned long. It isn't really winter and snow that I loathe... it's the cold. As in the -42C cold. That's right- this kind of winter is not for wimps. Not that I'm a wimp, but when temperatures drop this low, everything... slows... down. Drives that take 5 minutes normally take about 15 minutes. And who the hell wants to wake up extra early just to get the car started? Not me, dude. Not me.

Okay, so my massive tragedy this morning: I left my little bag of organic mini carrots in the car overnight by accident, so now they're all frozen, and once they defrost they will be rotted out and useless. I want to cry over this because I had anticipated a day of snacking on them... but now it is not to be. Luckily for me it was only really half a bag. Still, it makes me want to kung-fu someone to death over my own stupidity.

Oh, but on the bright side, I ate a fantastic dinner last night. Many thanks to Jaime for posting this on her blog, because I remembered it while grocery shopping and decided to buy it. So good, and really inexpensive.

But tragedy aside and yummy food aside... have you ever gotten up in the morning, walked into the bathroom, looked in the mirror, and just wanted to shave your stupid-ass head and start over? Right now I just really, really hate hair.

I am such a sideshow.
Because sideshow is the new lounge act.
Sometimes.


Thursday, January 13, 2005

i want to sleep with common people like you 

If you can, seriously go pick up 'Has Been', the newest CD by William Shatner. I am dead, dead serious- Shatner. My brother bought it for me for crapmas, and it is currently on alternating rotation with 'Smile' by Brian Wilson in my car (unless you're a hard-core Brian Wilson fanatic you probably don't need 'Smile', but I adore it because there's something that's so comforting about his music to me). Honestly, 'Has Been'. Makes me grin from ear to ear... if my mouth were actually that fucking big.

I have found the new thing I am going to buy.

My one friend said it's not as cool as the original iPod or the iPod mini, but seriously, this is cool enough for me. There's no display screen, so you have to remember or write down somewhere what you have uploaded to it, but you can play your songs on random or in order, and it is ANTI-SKIP. Also, it is tiny and can be worn hanging from your neck (or you can purchase the armband- perfect for the gym). Of course it doesn't come in all sorts of cool colours or anything like that, but it doesn't require a USB cable; it just plugs right in to the port on your computer. Honestly, this is something I absolutely must have over a digital camera (it's cheaper- the camera I am going to purchase has gone back up in price, so I have to wait until the next sale). The music they play at the gym sucks ass, and I think that it contributes to my lack of motivation once I get there, so I figure that if I have the capability to bring my own tunage (and not in the form of my gigantic MP3 player) I'll be more likely to stick around for some extra reps.

Now that I've bored the crap out of you with my newfound lust for the iPod Shuffle, let me tell you about the cool wall calendar I purchased last night. It cost only $5, and it is a SCARFACE calendar.

It is so rad (yes, I am resurrecting the usage of this word since it is infinitely more awesome than 'sick' or 'phat' or whatever the shit kids are saying now) I could fucking pee my pants. Say hello to my little friend...
Tony Montana, you were always my goddamned hero.

I aspire to die in a rain of bullets in a 'The World is Yours' fountain.
That is SO the shit dreams are made of.

Wednesday, January 12, 2005

she says we won't make it now 

I just finished writing this long, ranty post, and then I deleted it because I didn't feel like ranting anymore. But I'll give you the condensed version just for the sake of hearing what your opinions are.

I don't get why people spend so much time and effort on seeking the approval of others. I mean, I never bother with that kind of shit because I simply don't really care what the rest of the world thinks of me. I spent 28 years becoming the person I am, and I'm pretty fucking proud of that. I am not a 'version' of someone else. I am me, and I do my own thing whether or not anyone else thinks it's cool. I don't listen to the Killers, and quite frankly, I've never heard even one damn song by them. I don't think pink looks as good on everybody as it does on me. I liked the movie 'Garden State', but I hated the ending, and it sure as hell didn't change my life. I don't care if I'm not married or don't have any children before I turn 30. I think that a lot of people wear makeup because they're not one-hundred percent comfortable in their own skin. These are all things that make me who I am. I don't reject things to be a 'non-conformist' (that's a puerile term, anyway), but simply because they are either things that don't appeal to me, or ideas that I don't believe in. It's senseless to try to meet the expectations of others, because they will naturally want things for you that can be quite a bit different from what you want for yourself.

Tuesday, January 11, 2005

no grunge beards, baby, yeah 

Go watch 'Harold and Kumar Go to White Castle' right now. It's definitely just that tiny bit funnier if you happen to be a visible minority, but seriously, it works just as well if you're a raging stoner with a hankering for fast food.


I finished knitting my scarf last night. It looks pretty fucking sweet... until you get up close and personal and realize that the width of it changes from wider to skinnier as you go along. Whatever. It's a hobby, not an attempt at bread-winning. So there.

Since I have absolutely nothing important to report to you at this time, here's a theme day. It's shitty, but who cares? This is a blog, not a self-help book.

Top Ten Tuesday

top ten things i like (right now):

1) swimming in the ocean
2) eating, drinking (beer), smoking (weed)
3) getting things in the mail (not bills)
4) sleeping in
5) people returning my calls
6) receiving personal emails (chain and group emails suck ass)
7) my blog and all my blog friends (so that's two things... they're totally related)
8) hearing a really great song that i've never heard before
9) going to live shows (smaller ones, not arena concerts)
10) hearing from people i haven't heard from in awhile

top ten things i don't like (currently):

1) liars, freeloaders, stupid people, opportunists, phonies
2) non-naturally occuring red hair (natural redheads? rawr. bottle redheads? meh.)
3) long toenails/fingernails
4) cuts of meat with high fat contents
5) paying a cover charge to get into a bar when there is no live band
6) people with stupid (meaningless) tattoos
7) poor spelling
8) bars that have dress codes (don't they know i always look hot, no matter what i wear?)
9) tight pants on men
10) tucking in shirts



Monday, January 10, 2005

you wanna fight, i'm gonna win 

Four types of people (and yes, there are only four types- don't even try to argue with me here):

1) a horrible person posing as a nice person

2) a nice person posing as a horrible person

3) a nice person not posing as anything

4) a horrible person not posing as anything


I sincerely hope you are not the first kind of person. And if you are? Die.

Friday, January 07, 2005

working on a mystery, going wherever it leads 

Today you can:

Recommend a movie for me to watch !
(try suggesting something off the beaten path, because i am overly critical of commercial releases unless they involve Bill Murray or Ben Stiller somehow... and if possible something that does not star Vince Vaughn in a lead role)

Now please read:

Ten Random Things

1) How come there aren't any sabre toothed tigers anymore? Did their diet consist of solely dinosaurs, and after the dinosaurs became extinct they had nothing to eat so they all starved to death? I mean, aren't sabre toothed tigers just a variety on regular tigers- just with way bigger teeth?

2) Books with happy endings are okay and all, but sometimes it's just more satisfying if someone dies, or loses all their possessions, or doesn't get the girl. A lot of happy endings seem too contrived, and it's like the author ran out of anything interesting to happen to the character so he/she just gets to live happily ever after. Boo.

3) I hate Vince Vaughn. I would not like to see a movie with him cast in the lead role. If I ever met him in real life, I'd probably kick his teeth in and run away.

4) Reason #3456789 that Napoleon Dynamite is the best movie ever: even the popular people are kind of ugly and have bad hair. And have super ugly boyfriends.

5) I resent the fact that I am not Sienna Miller.

6) If the plural of 'goose' is 'geese', then how come the plural of 'moose' is 'moose' and not 'meese'? Goddamned English language.

7) Where the hell are all my socks?

8) Normally in a group of friends, there is a token ugly person. But what happens in a group where everyone is ugly? How do they decided who is the 'token' person?

9) Why are potatoes called potatoes in English when they translate directly from French as being 'apples of the earth'?

10) If someone tells you it tastes like chicken, they're probably fucking lying.

Thursday, January 06, 2005

you should learn when to go, you should learn how to say no 

To start the day off, I will need to answer the three questions posed to me by Cindy. She is asking them in return for me asking three questions on her blog, so I must oblige because I am a nice gal that way.

1. What's the best show you've ever seen live?

The best show I've ever seen live... wow, this is going to be a hard one because I've seen so many superb shows in my short life... I'm going to go for the three way tie here- just to be fair:

- Wilco at the Republik, because it was the first time I saw them live, and it happened to be in my favourite club of all time, and it was just a great show.

- Weezer at the MacEwan Hall Ballroom (old ballroom, not the new-fangled coolio mini-arena thing they have going now; not that any of these venues mean much to anyone, really), because that was back in the day before they got too big to play college shows. I was high on some really good acid that night, and the crowd was so amazing. It made me so goddamned proud to be a college student.

- Ben Harper at the Jack Singer Concert Hall. True, I've seen Ben shows since, but this was the first one I went to. And yes, it was in a stuffy Calgary symphony hall. But what was cool about it was when he sang 'Burn One Down', no one cared what the hell venue were in. Everyone in the audience (well, not really 'everyone', but a good portion of it) pulled out some kind of weed smoking paraphernalia and lit up. And the ushers totally let it happen. It was such a zen moment in the weirdest of ways.

2. What's your favorite movie to watch high?

Damn, these are good questions Cindy! I was going to say 'Lawnmower Man', but then I remembered that I didn't enjoy that; I just had a really bad trip and ran out of the movie theater. Uh, yeah... No, my favourite movie to watch while feeling the effects of the herb is actually 'Heathers'. Don't ask why- it's just that everytime I watch it I happen to be stoned out of my tree and it kind of works for me.

3. Do you expect to return to your "theme post days" -- Evil Fleecey, WWW, etc.? (just wondering, not complaining or anything)

You know what? I totally should go back to my theme days- I'd forgotten that was part of the charm of this place to begin with. I think that maybe tomorrow should be the return of Evil Parallel Dimension Friday. I'm down with that shit, yo.

* * * * * *

So, last night we had a few of bf's friends crash over at our house. I don't really care about the crashing part, since it's bound to happen when you live in a house that's pretty much central to everything. What bothers me is that this morning bf told me that no one chipped in for the pizza we got to eat last night. I am appalled, but I honestly can't say that I'm shocked into the bargain. Most of bf's friends are jobless because they are in school, or they just finished school and have no problem with living off mommy and daddy's money for the rest of their lives. So, this happens a whole lot. And it's bullshit. It's not like I'm a completely unsympathetic cow, because I understand about having limited funds, but when someone pulls out the plastic to pay for everything, it's just good manners to offer whatever little you have to chip in to the cause. At least that's what I was raised to do. But not these people. Not one person even asked how much the pizza ended up costing. At one point, one of the dudes went out to his car because he said he needed to get his wallet, and I thought, okay, that's good, but it turned out he just didn't want his wallet to get swiped from his car during the night, and he'd never had any intention of offering to pitch in some coin for dinner. One more beef I have (and I know not everyone agrees with me on this, but I fucking can't stand it); I think it's rude if someone sees a box of something (let's say they're chocolates) sitting under the coffee table, and says, 'Hey, are those chocolates?' and I say, 'Yes, they are' and they're all, 'Can I have one?' Okay, so the asking itself isn't the rude part, but when you're other peoples' house (and they're not your parents) I've always thought you should wait until you are offered something. Particularly if it's something that obviously was not bought specifically because people knew you were coming over. I mean, the fucking box of chocolates was UNDER the table. It's not like it was sitting on top of it with the lid open. So, I did what anyone with any kind of backbone would do; I told the guy asking for chocolate that they were on sale at Safeway still, and that Safeway was open until 11. This all makes me so glad that even though I don't see my friends as much as I'd like, at least they're all decent people. I wish that my boyfriend had more decent people as friends, because honestly? He's a lot better than what he's settling for and, frankly, I'm sick and tired of his shitty, freeloader pals taking advantage of him because he's such a nice guy.

Wednesday, January 05, 2005

when i went to school in olympia 

I want a girl, who will laugh for no one else
When I'm away she puts her makeup on the shelf
When I'm away she never leaves the house


We sing out loud because no one cares. Because we're fucking invincible, dude. Because it's summer. Because all we've got is beer and music. And goddammit, does everyone else suck. They don't know. They don't get what it's all about. But we do. It's all about trading in empties so we can go see a show. It's about sitting on the patio all day, philosophising with random strangers. It's the beer in my hand. It's how the steering wheel in my car rattles when I take it out on the highway. It's sitting in the fountain in front of Earl's in an inner tube. It's chain smoking and drinking wine to the sounds of Modest Mouse. It's sneaking in to the Weezer concert like no one's going to see you doing it. It's being obnoxious because it's so much funnier that way. It's what real friends are. It's what's still going to matter even when there are miles in between.

Robin Rockstar is moving back to the Tdot this summer. It's the end of an era, people. Sing along if you know the song.


the sea is foamin' like a bottle of beer
the wave is comin' but i ain't got no fear
i'm waxin' down so that i'll go real fast
i'm waxin' down because it's really a blast

i'm goin' surfin cuz i don't like your face
i'm bailin' out because i hate the race
of rats that run around and round in the maze
i'm goin' surfin', i'm goin' surfin'!


you take your car to work
i'll take my board
and when you run out of fuel i'm still afloat

my buddies and their honeys all come along
they seem invincible as they surf along
the sea is rollin' like a thousand pound keg
we're goin' surfin', we're goin' surfin!

you take your car to work
i'll take my board
and when you run out of fuel i'm still afloat

all along the undertow is strengthening its hold
i never thought it'd come to this
now i can never go home

you take your car to work
i'll take my board
and when you run out of fuel i'm still afloat

you take your car
i'll take my board
you take your car
i'll take my board

let's go!




Tuesday, January 04, 2005

she is famous, she is funny 

So... long time no post, huh? Happy new year, everyone! Truth is, it kind of feels exactly the same as last year at this very time, down to the snow and the cold. Well, except that I'm not driving the crapmobile anymore, and that I'm only about half as broke as I was last year. But who cares about the little shitty details, right? I didn't do much over the holidays. I slept A LOT, and I consumed a fair amount of booze and food (and very, very few vegetables- regretting that now). I learned how to knit in one hour, and now am knitting a highly ramshackle (can that be used in this case???) scarf. I watched Napoleon Dynamite four times while we had the DVD rented. I was supposed to get it and Shaun of the Dead for my b-day, but they were all sold out everywhere, and bf called every fucking video store in the Cowtown to no avail. Oh well, he says I still get them eventually. Woohoo. I liked Garden State after I finally saw it, but I think the ending was a little drawn out and contrived. Still, I quite enjoyed it, and I absolutely loved the Natalie Portman character. I should write endings to movies- I think I have a knack for it. I also watched the weirdest DVD ever called The Saddest Music In The World. The weirdest, but a really good story. It was all shot in black and white and looked all old-movie-ish (y'know, a tad out of focus and shit). And the Baroness had glass legs filled with beer. Mmmm. Beer. New Year's Eve? Uneventful. It was goddamned cold out, and no one was doing anything cool. Could've gone out to the freebies at the bar, but I just wasn't in the mood to sit around for seven hours and pay per drink just for one second when the clock hits midnight, and everyone is all happy new year! i'm gonna hug you even though i have no clue who you are, and i'm super drunk, and my breath smells like... i don't even know. but happy new year, stranger! It was good to sit at home watching Anchorman and to get a kiss at midnight, and then be able to crawl right into bed without having to wait for the taxi that never comes because it's too busy to be calling cabs on NYE, and you really should fucking know better than to try.

Wow, all rambling and very little sense. Well, that's my attempt at telling you what I got up to over the past while. I'll be coherent again tomorrow. Count on it.